1- they like slaves
2- they annoyed the piss out of us all year thinking that Chase the Heisman was going to lead them to the title
3- they have cheaper gas prices
4- they are labeling tonight as their national championship
5- they love the meth
6- because if you wanted a blow job anyone would give you one
7- they have a group of students called antlers and you have to fill out an application to be in it (unable to confirm if you also have to play soggy crackers to get in, i'm betting yes)
We could go on and on, but I'd rather just drop our collective testicles on em.
Rock Chalk
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